The Biggest Threat in my Life.

When I was in primary school, my homeroom teacher asks about my ambition. I was so excited telling her I wanted to be a scientist. She asks why? And I said “I don’t know.” Well perhaps that is the first thing that came into my mind. That was my second year. On my forth year in primary school, again my Math teacher ask me and my classmates about ambition. When it was my turn, I said I wanted to be a vet. She asks why? Then I said “because I love animals, teacher” and I was so proud and excited saying it. Then on my sixth year again, Mrs. Harjindar Kaur my English Language teacher asks “class, can you tell me, what your ambition is?” When my turn comes, I said, “I want to be an artist, a veterinarian and a scientist teacher”. “Well, that is a lot of ambition. You should choose only one.” She told me that.

Time flies, and I step on to the next level being in my secondary school. This time when my teacher asks me what I want to be, I told my teacher that I wanted to be a teacher. On the fifth year, I ask myself what I want to be. My answer was …………….. . I was totally lost. I do not have any idea what I want to be. I was aimless. I realize that I need a plan and I cannot figure it out.

I entered form six only because my ma told me to do so. I was just following the current. Where it will take me? I do not have the answer for that question. This is my biggest dilemma. Funny, it was just funny, for how a simple word as ambition becomes the biggest threat in my life.

And now here I am. Lying down on my bed, with my face in front of my laptop screen, constructing sentence, and I am worried about the grammar, not sure whether it is correct or not.

Now, I am on my way to finish my Diploma in English here in UPSI, Tanjung Malim. Still holding the same dilemma. One of my lecturers told me that I am putting myself in trouble for not having a plan for my future. I guess she was right. I can only pray to God, letting Him to hold on my future. But, us as a human we ought to play our role. Indeed, we have to rely 200% on God, but He wanted to see how strong our will is, did we push ourselves to our limit in order to deserve that “something” he had prepared.